On Saying "No"

Saying "no." I've always found it difficult to do when it comes to writing work and related collaborations. I don't know why. What I do know is that it often leaves me feeling drained, shelled, and unable to meet expectations. I like saying "yes." That word opens doors. That word leads to more work.

Person 1: Can you take a look at this before I send it out?
Me: Sure thing--when do you need it back?

Person 2: I need some copy for a brochure, can you help?
Me: Sure thing--what's my deadline?

And so on. Don't get me wrong--I'm not complaining about work being available. That's a good thing. I'm just illustrating my complete inability to turn anything down.

Well, the other day, I finally did it. I said "no" to a project. And it felt good...eventually. At first, I felt awful about it, but there was no denying that I was overloaded with stuff to do--very little of it writing. I'm caring for my injured wife. I'm preparing for a move at the end of the month. I'm trying to stay ahead of the curve with the day job--well, technically that's writing, but not my writing. I'm trying to maintain my health and sanity. I'm editing a friend's manuscript. I'm trying to read books, listen to music and eat every once in a while.

So, for the first time in a long time, I admitted that I couldn't handle any more. I said the n-word. I backed out. And it was met with silence.

To my surprise, that was O.K. with me. Bridges burned? Maybe. But at this point in my life, silence is something I can really dig.

On to the next thing. It's time to write some fiction.