Baddest of the Bad (and a contest)

I should mention that Necrotic Tissue's "Best-Of" anthology has hit the shelves, virtual and otherwise. This collection contains the choicest skim of the scum that rose to the top over at the beloved (and now, sadly, defunct) independent horror magazine, Necrotic Tissue. I say that with the utmost affection, by the way. Between these covers, you'll find shark-fu, sex dungeons, zombies, unicorns, and all other manner of nastiness.

If you're into things that are awesome, I highly suggest checking it out.

You know what? Since I have a few extra copies, I'm kind of bored today, and it is the Halloween season, I'm going to run a contest. The person who leaves the best Halloween haiku in the comments section under this post wins a signed copy of the anthology. Not that I'm particularly cool or that my signature is worth a damn, but it might be someday. You just never know.

I guess now I find out if I actually have any readers here at ye olde blog. A reminder about haiku poetry: Three lines--5, 7, 5 syllables. For example:

October night air

Candy rustles in the bag

Ghosts and goblins scream

Contest closes Oct. 31.

Writers of the World: Cast Off Thy Training Wheels

Look--I know this is probably an unpopular opinion among my peers, but I despise writers' workshops. I think they're a worthless waste of time--time better spent coming up with prose. If you want to get better at writing...read a lot and write a lot. If you're still in school, then pay attention during English class. It's that simple.

A writers' group can be a good thing, if what you want is to receive positive reinforcement on a regular basis, and to build a sense of community with like-minded individuals. No problem there. Everyone needs support from time to time.

However, if you're serious about becoming a professional writer, there's not a whole lot a group can do for you besides making you feel warm and fuzzy. It's a lonely business, and if that bothers you, then it might be time to reassess your goals.

My advice: Find a ruthless editor (preferably one who already writes for a living) who likes to use his/her red pen. Work for him/her for a few years to build your chops. Learn about self-discipline. Learn about deadlines. Learn about rewrites. Humble yourself. Test the waters in a variety of markets. Even if your dream is to write best-selling horror fiction, inquire at local publications about their freelance needs. Write a profile for your alumni magazine. Review a restaurant for the local paper. Get used to the idea of writing as a vocation--like building a house or fixing cars.

At some point--and it probably won't take that long--you'll find out whether you can cut it. If you become relatively proficient, the skills you use in your work-a-day writing world are the same ones you'll employ when composing your dream project. In the meantime, you can build a satisfying and successful career as a working writer. There are worse things.